Great Quotes - Funny Quotes - Love Quotes

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Letter "F" » Funny
«The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.»
Author: Franklin P. Jones (Businessman) | About: Funny | Keywords: appreciate, nobody, punctual, trouble
«Underwear. It's like a goddamned leash. It also constantly reminds me of how funny I look naked.»
Author: Pete Wentz (bassist, Entrepreneur, Songwriter) | About: Funny
«The Vulcan Neck Pinch is not half as powerful as the Vulcan Groin Kick, but it's more politically correct»
Author: Star Trek | About: Funny, TV series | Keywords: groin, Groins, kick, neck, pinch, pinched, pinches, pinching, politically, politically correct, Vulcan
«To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.»
Author: Woody Allen (Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter) | About: Funny, God | Keywords: atheist, loyal, opposition, oppositions
«Today President Bush ordered an investigation into whether it is appropriate to have civilians with no experience running a Navy sub. Hey, how about an investigation into whether it's appropriate to have a civilian with no experience running the country?»
Author: Jay Leno (Comedian, Host) | About: Funny | Keywords: appropriate, civilian, civilians, hey, investigation, investigations, In the Navy, navy, ordered, President Bush, sub
«The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they're okay, then it's you.»
Author: Rita Mae Brown (Writer) | About: Best friend, Funny | Keywords: illness, okay, sanity
«The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.»
Author: Carl Gustav Jung (Founder, Psychologist) | About: Funny | Keywords: cases, fits, pinches, recipe, shoe, suits
«To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years»
Author: Ernest Hemingway | About: Family, Fathers, Funny, Jokes
«To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kind of scary. I've wondered where this started and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus, and a clown killed my dad.»
Author: Jack Handy (Writer) | About: Funny | Keywords: circus, circuses, clown, clowns, dad, dads, funny, in fact, killed, scarier, scariest, scary, started, The Circus, went, wondered
«This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.»
Author: Oscar Wilde (Critic, Dramatist, Novelist, Poet) | About: Excitement, Funny, Suspense | Keywords: hope, in suspense, last, last out, suspense, terrible, this, will
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