Great Quotes - Funny Quotes - Love Quotes

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Letter "F" » Funny
«An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.»
Author: Agatha Christie (Detective, Novelist, Playwright) | About: Funny, Men and Women | Keywords: archaeologist, archaeologists, Best interests, husband, interested, older
«Another term for balloon is bad breath holder.»
Author: Demetri Martin (Actor, Comedian, Writer) | About: Funny
«An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.»
Author: Irv Kupcinet (Columnist, Host) | About: Funny, Optimism | Keywords: diet, thanksgiving, Thanksgiving Day
«A blunderer is a man who starts a meat market during Lent»
Author: James Montgomery Bailey | About: Funny | Keywords: blunderer, Lent
«At this moment I do not have a personal relationship with a computer.»
Author: Janet Reno | About: Funny | Keywords: personal computer, personal computers, personal relationship, personal relationships
«Andy: Look at our love fern! It's dead!Ben: No it's only sleeping.»
Author: Kate Hudson (Actress) | About: Funny, Love, Movies | Keywords: andy, ben, furnace
«A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'»
Author: Tommy Cooper | About: Dogs, Funny | Keywords: alarmed, assistant, assistants, bloke, blokes, calls, Call for help, guide, guide dog, head start, Just Say No, picks, shop, shop assistant, sir, swinging, thanks, The Blind, The Dog, walks
«And computers are getting smarter all the time: scientists tell us that soon they will be able to talk to us. (By they I mean computers: I doubt scientists will ever be able to talk to us.)»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | About: Computers, Funny, Scientists | Keywords: all the time, Computers, scientists, smarter, talk to, The Scientists
«Aristotle maintained that women have fewer teeth than men; although he was twice married, it never occurred to him to verify this statement by examining his wives' mouths.»
Author: Bertrand Russell (Logician, Philosopher) | About: Funny, Women | Keywords: Aristotle, examining, fewer, maintained, mouths, occurred, statement, verified, verifies, verify, verifying, wives
«Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.»
Author: Albert Einstein (Physicist) | About: Cute, Cute love, Funny, Love, Men and Women | Keywords: attention, deserves, drive, kissing, safely, The Kiss
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