Great Quotes - Funny Quotes - Love Quotes
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Letter "F" » Funny
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«Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| About:
Funny,
Humor
| Keywords:
circumstances, laxative, laxatives, pill, pilled, sleeping, sleeping pill, the Pill, under
«Oh, you hate your job? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.»
«Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.»
Author: Erma Bombeck
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
died, doctor, doctored, Doctor Who, go to, have died, office, plants
«Never accept a drink from a urologist.»
«One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I'll never know.»
«My young son asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth - that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally - but I didn't want to upset him.»
«Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld
(Actor, Comedian)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
bloodstain, detergent, detergents, laundries, laundry, shirt, T, take out, the Wash, T shirt, wash
«One time, Bert and I were making out for so long it wasn't even funny..But then it was funny.»
Author: Gerard Way
| About:
Funny
«One day soon the Gillette company will announce the development of a razor that, thanks to a computer microchip, can actually travel ahead in time and shave beard hairs that don't even exist yet»
Author: Dave Barry
(Humorist, Writer)
| About:
Funny,
Humor,
Technology,
Time
| Keywords:
Ahead Of Their Time, ahead of time, announce, announces, announcing, beard, bearded, bearding, development, Gillette, hairs, in time, microchip, microchips, razor, Razors, shave, shaved, shaves, thanks
«My sister wanted to be an actress. She never made it, but she does live in a trailer... so she got halfway. She's an actress, she's just never called to the set.»
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