Great Quotes - Funny Quotes - Love Quotes
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Letter "F" » Funny
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«I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.»
«I think that's how Chicago got started. A bunch of people in New York said, 'Gee, I'm enjoying the crime and the poverty, but it just isn't cold enough, let's go west.'»
«I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield
(Comedian)
| About:
Funny,
Relationships
| Keywords:
hates, met, psychiatrist, psychiatrists, ridiculous, said, told, yet
«I want to start by saying something nice about President Bush. Of all the presidents we've had with the last name of Bush, his economic plan ranks in the top two.»
Author: Senator John Kerry
(Senator)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
last name, Presidents, President Bush, ranks
«I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.»
Author: Will Shriner
(Comedian)
| About:
Death and dying,
Funny
| Keywords:
car, Die in, grandfather, grandfathers, passenger, passengers, screamed, screaming, screams, sleep, sleeping car, sleep out, sleep over, The Cars, yelling
«I want to be a race car passenger: just a guy who bugs the driver. Say man, can I turn on the radio? You should slow down. Why do we gotta keep going in circles? Can I put my feet out the window? Man, you really like Tide...»
Author: Mitch Hedberg
(Comedian)
| About:
Funny,
Racing
| Keywords:
bugging, bugs, car window, circles, driver, in circles, keep going, On the Radio, passenger, race car, radio, slow down, The Bug, tide, turn down, turn on
«I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said 'No.'»
Author: Woody Allen
(Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
contraception, oral, oral contraception, sleep with, terrific
«I think we agree, the past is over.»
«I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. You're doing a heck of a job. You cut your teeth here, right? That's where you started practicing? That's good. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me.»
Author: George W. Bush
(President)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
bill, Bill of Rights, heck, I Want You, joining, join us, Karyn, practicing, senator, Texas
«I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.»
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