Great Quotes - Funny Quotes - Love Quotes
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Letter "F" » Funny
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«I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.»
Author: Frank Sinatra
(Actor, Singer)
| About:
Drinking,
Funny
| Keywords:
as good as, good morning, sorry, sorry for, wake, wake up
«I have a theory of relatives, too. Don't hire 'em.»
«I guess I just prefer to see the dark side of things. The glass is always half empty. And cracked. And I just cut my lip on it. And chipped a tooth.»
Author: Janeane Garofalo
(Actress, Comedian)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
chipped, chipping, chip in, cracked, cracking, crack up, cut, cutting out, cut into, cut through, cut up, dark, dark glasses, Dark Side, Dark Side of the, emptier, empties, empty, emptying, empty of, glass, guess, guessed, half, lip, on it, prefer, preferring, side, The Dark, The Glass, tooth
«I have never been jealous. Not even when my dad finished fifth grade a year before I did.»
«I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.»
Author: Tommy Cooper
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
I Woke Up, marshmallow, pillow, pound, The Pillow, This Morning, woke
«I had often fantasized about running into my ex and his wife. But in those fantasies, I was running over them with a truck.»
Author: Sex and the City
(TV series)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
fantasies, fantasize, fantasized, fantasizing, truck, trucks
«I got in an argument with a girlfriend inside of a tent. That's a bad place for an argument, because I tried to walk out, and had to slam the flap.»
«I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.»
Author: Oscar Wilde
(Critic, Dramatist, Novelist, Poet)
| About:
Funny,
Insults,
witty
| Keywords:
a lot, egged, egging, eggs, egg on, hard-boiled, hard-boiled egg, hardboiled, lot, meet up with, met, minutes, The Eggs, The Met, time, twenties, twenty
«I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear»
Author: Woody Allen
(Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
afterlife, although, bringing, underwear
«I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.»
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