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Letter "F" » Funny
«It was like a heart transplant. We tried to implant college in him but his head rejected it.»
Author: Barry Switzer | About: Funny | Keywords: college, Heart transplant, implant, implanting, implants, rejected, transplant, transplanted, transplanting, transplants
«I am not a glutton - I am an explorer of food»
Author: Erma Bombeck | About: Food, Funny | Keywords: explorer, explorers, food, glutton, gluttons
«It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.»
Author: George F. Burns | About: Drinking, Funny, Humor | Keywords: drunk, fourteenth, thirteenth
«I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds.»
Author: Joan Rivers | About: Funny | Keywords: beds, bunk, bunk bed, Sex life, slept, underneath
«I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.»
Author: Woody Allen (Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter) | About: Funny | Keywords: happens
«I am a kind of paranoiac in reverse. I suspect people of plotting to make me happy.»
Author: J. D. Salinger (Novelist, Writer) | About: Funny, Happiness, Paranoia, Trust | Keywords: paranoid, paranoids, plotting, reverse, suspect
«I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.»
Author: Oscar Wilde (Critic, Dramatist, Novelist, Poet) | About: Cleverness, Funny, Understanding | Keywords: am, clever, cleverer, cleverest, I am, saying, single, singled, singles, singling, sometimes, understand, word
«I am a world-class weenie when it comes to letting people stick needles into me. My subconscious mind firmly believes that if God had wanted us to have direct access to our bloodstreams, He would have equipped our skin with small, clearly marked doors.»
Author: Dave Barry (Humorist, Writer) | About: Funny | Keywords: access, equipped, firmly, marked, needles, subconscious, subconscious mind, weenie, weenies
«It is perfectly monstrous the way people go about nowadays saying things against one, behind one's back, that are absolutely and entirely true.»
Author: Oscar Wilde (Critic, Dramatist, Novelist, Poet) | About: Funny, Gossip, Truth | Keywords: absolutely, against, behind, entirely, go about, monstrous, nowadays, perfectly, saying, The Way
«I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.»
Author: Winston Churchill (Author, Orator, Prime Minister) | About: Death, Funny, God | Keywords: maker, meeting, ordeal, ordeals, prepared, The Makers
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