Great Quotes - Funny Quotes - Love Quotes
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Letter "F" » Funny
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«I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.»
«I said 'George, if you want to end world tyranny, you have to stay up later.' Nine o'clock and Mr. Excitement here is in bed, leaving me to watch 'Desperate Housewives' with Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife.»
«I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.»
«I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize»
Author: Steven Wright
(Comedian)
| About:
Funny,
Humor
| Keywords:
Nobel, Nobel Peace, Nobel Peace Prize, Nobel prize, prize
«I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own.»
Author: Woody Allen
(Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
good practice, lover, My own, practice
«I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet»
«I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.»
Author: Woody Allen
(Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
deathbed, deathbeds, grandfather, grandfathers, pocket, pocket watch, proud, proud of, sold
«I'm the master of low expectations.»
«I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.»
Author: Groucho Marx
(Actor, Comedian, Singer)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
footprint, footprints, photograph, sock, socks, upstairs
«I'm going to give my psychoanalyst one more year, then I'm going to Lourdes»
Author: Woody Allen
(Actor, Author, Film Director, Screenwriter)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
psychoanalyst, Psychoanalysts
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