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Letter "R" » Rodney Dangerfield Quotes
«It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | Keywords: glass, kisses, lips, My Wife, The Dog, tough
«I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | Keywords: cement, cementing, cements, neighborhood, neighborhoods
«One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | Keywords: birth control, boy, one of the boys, one year, poster
«I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | About: Food, Sex | Keywords: in fact, put over, table, The Age
«What a dog I got, his favorite bone is in my arm.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | Keywords: bone
«When I was born I was so ugly the doctor slapped my mother.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | Keywords: doctor, slapped, slapping, slaps, slap on, The Doctor, ugly
«I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | Keywords: bartender, bartenders, My Wife, plumbers, psychiatrist, psychiatrists
«I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | About: Fathers, Funny | Keywords: carries, my father, The Kid, wallet, wallets
«My mother never breast-fed me. She told me she liked me as a friend.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | Keywords: breast-fed, breast, breast feeding, Fed, liked
«I had plenty of pimples as a kid. One day I fell asleep in the library. When I woke up, a blind man was reading my face.»
Author: Rodney Dangerfield (Comedian) | Keywords: asleep, blind, blind man, fall asleep, fell, felled, felling, fells, I Woke Up, kid, library, one day, pimple, pimples, plenty, reading, The Library, woke
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