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Letter "P" » P. J. O'Rourke Quotes
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«The Democrats are the party that says government will make you smarter, taller, richer, and remove the crabgrass on your lawn. The Republicans are the party that says government doesn't work and then they get elected and prove it.»
Author: P. J. O'Rourke
(Humorist, Journalist, Writer)
| About:
Democracy,
Government
| Keywords:
crabgrass, Democrats, elected, lawn, lawns, lawn party, party, prove, remove, Republicans, richer, smarter, taller, The Party
«There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.»
«Social Security is a government program with a constituency made up of the old, the near old and those who hope or fear to grow old. After 215 years of trying, we have finally discovered a special interest that includes 100 percent of the population. Now we can vote ourselves rich.»
Author: P. J. O'Rourke
(Humorist, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
constituencies, constituency, discovered, finally, includes, made-up, percent, population, populations, program, programmed, security, social, Social Security, special, special interest, special interests, vote
«Marijuana is self-punishing. It makes you acutely sensitive, and in this world, what worse punishment could there be?»
Author: P. J. O'Rourke
(Humorist, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
acutely, marijuana, punishing, sensitive
«If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.»
Author: P. J. O'Rourke
(Humorist, Journalist, Writer)
| About:
Adulthood,
Teenage
| Keywords:
adult, fat, in other words, spoil
«America wasn't founded so that we could all be better. America was founded so we could all be anything we damned well pleased.»
Author: P. J. O'Rourke
(Humorist, Journalist, Writer)
| About:
Country
| Keywords:
damned, founded, pleased
«Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.»
Author: P. J. O'Rourke
(Humorist, Journalist, Writer)
| About:
Government,
Teenage
| Keywords:
keys, teenage, whiskey
«In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.»
Author: P. J. O'Rourke
(Humorist, Journalist, Writer)
| Keywords:
assassinate, assassinated, assassinating, election, hound, hounded, impeach, impeached, one shot, Presidents, shot, worried
«The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?»
Author: P. J. O'Rourke
(Humorist, Journalist, Writer)
| About:
America and Americans
| Keywords:
administration, ashore, Bill Clinton, Clinton, Clinton administration, launched, nuts, Plymouth, Plymouth Rock, stepped, Texas
«Children from the age of five to ten should watch more television. Television depicts adults as rotten SOB's, given to fistfights, gunplay, and other mayhem. Kids who believe this about grownups aren't likely to argue about bedtime.»
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