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Letter "J" » Jon Stewart Quotes
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«As an adolescent, (Vonnegut) made my life bearable.»
«Don't worry, ... as long as America still has natural resources, you guys are okay.»
«I already miss him. At 42, you don't get the opportunity to be tickled a lot.»
«Now, this story certainly has its humorous aspects. And it's easy to make fun of an incident like this. Very easy. But it also raises a serious issue, one which I feel very strongly about. ... Moms, dads, if you're watching right now, I can't emphasize enough: Do not let your kids go on hunting trips with the vice president. I don't care what kind of lucrative contracts they're trying to land or energy regulations they're trying to get lifted. It's just not worth it.»
«A boy child, I feel like I'll know how to deal with it if he has a problem. I'll just be able to say to him, 'Well, repress it,' and he will hopefully swallow that, as I have. And then you figure you have 30 years before it comes out over dinner where somebody spills the gravy and then you're like, 'I hate you!' »
«The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him.»
«I heard Dennis Kucinich say in a debate, 'When I'm president... and I just wanted to stop him and say, 'Dude.'»
«That is cold-blooded, ... was all like, 'Your momma wouldn't have co-sponsored the Smoot-Hawley Tariff Act of 1930.' »
«We were worried sick, ... We thought you had SARS. We thought to ourselves, get out the masks.»
«Getting between him and his fans -- I don't think it's the P. I think it's the bodyguards,»
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