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Letter "J" » Jon Stewart Quotes
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«Here's the point - you're looking at affirmative action, and you're looking at marijuana. You legalize marijuana, no need for quotas, because really, who's gonna wanna work?»
Author: Jon Stewart
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
affirmative, affirmative action, legalize, legalized, legalizing, marijuana
«I'm 38 and could very much bare my midriff, but it may make some people nauseous.»
«There are a hell of a lot of jobs that are scarier than live comedy. Like standing in the operating room when a guy's heart stops, and you're the one who has to fix it!»
Author: Jon Stewart
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
comedy, fix, fix it, jobs, operating, operating room, scarier
«If you watch the news and don't like it, then this is your counter program to the news.»
«Just every moment with Dick Cheney has been my favorite. Here's what I wonder about Dick Cheney, and the reason that maybe they keep him only in loyalty oath audiences, is if he becomes angry, I do believe he turns into the Hulk. And so, they try and keep people from questioning him, because he'll just -- the shirt rips, and suddenly he has hair. So he's been my favorite, because he just goes out there to a room full of supporters and says, 'You know we're all going to die, right?' You're going to die unless I'm in charge.'»
«I'm too short to host a late-night talk show. It's like the bar at an amusement-park ride. You have to be six foot two or over.»
«Many of our soldiers are stationed at Camp Coyote just south of the Iraqi border. This is how you know we have a strong army, when you can actually tell your enemy exactly where your camp is and what its name is.»
«President Bush remained undeterred by the massive display of American opposition, even though much of it came from the hundreds of thousands of voters who supported him by voting for Nader.»
Author: Jon Stewart
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
American President, display, hundreds, massive, Nader, opposition, President Bush, remained, supported, undeterred, voters, voting
«I can be in 20 movies. But I'll never be an actor.»
«That's what it's like to be a comedian. You basically stand and stare at the world and hope it craps out cause that's a good year for you. So that's not a pleasant feeling.»
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