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Letter "J" » Jon Stewart Quotes
(Click a letter to view the authors)
«I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.»
«I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days.»
Author: Jon Stewart
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
Canada, gotten, impression, the country, The Impressions
«I feel your scorn and I accept it.»
«Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.»
«Alright guys, I want to get out there and vote tomorrow. And not because it's cool, because it's not. You know what is cool? Smoking. Smoke while you vote.»
«I always knew I shouldn't have said that.»
«Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork.I'm sorry, what was that last one?? Don't eat pork. God has spoken.Is that the word of God or is that pigs trying to outsmart everybody?»
Author: Jon Stewart
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
adulteries, adultery, commit, outsmart, pigs, pork, sorry, spoken, The Word, Word of God
«Does anyone know...does the Christian persecution complex have an expiration date? Because...uh...you've all been in charge pretty much since...uh...what was that guys name...Constantine. He converted in, what was it, 312 A.D. I'm just saying, enjoy your success.»
«Yesterday, the president met with a group he calls the coalition of the willing. Or, as the rest of the world calls them, Britain and Spain.»
Author: Jon Stewart
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
Britain, calls, coalition, group, Rest of the world, Spain, the President
«We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea.»
Author: Jon Stewart
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
destruction, gun, invades, invading, in the north, Iraq, Iraq and, Iraq In, Just One, Korea, Mass, North, North A, North by, North Korea, pretext, pretexts, smoking, The Smoking Gun, to the north, weapon
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