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Letter "J" » Johnny Carson Quotes
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«New York is an exciting town where something is happening all the time, most unsolved.»
«Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.»
Author: Johnny Carson
(Host)
| About:
Funny,
Inefficiency,
sarcastic
| Keywords:
mail, packages, post, post office, The Post Office
«If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.»
«If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead.»
Author: Johnny Carson
(Host)
«For three days after death, hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off.»
Author: Johnny Carson
(Host)
| Keywords:
after death, fingernail, phone, phone call, taper, tapers, taper off
«The difference between a divorce and a legal separation is that a legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money»
Author: Johnny Carson
(Host)
| About:
Divorce,
Men and Women,
Money,
Separation
| Keywords:
legal, legal separation, separation
«Anytime four New Yorkers get into a cab together without arguing, a bank robbery has just taken place.»
«He's so fat, he can be his own running mate»
«To this day I can't get aroused until I see a pair of rubber dice hanging from the mirror»
Author: Johnny Carson
(Host)
| Keywords:
aroused, dice, hanging, pair, rubber, rubbers, The Mirror, to this day
«We have two kinds of air: regular and chunky style»
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