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Letter "J" » Jerry Seinfeld Quotes
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«According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld
(Actor, Comedian)
| About:
Death and dying,
Fear,
Speech
| Keywords:
according, average, better off, casket, caskets, eulogies, eulogy, funeral, number, number one, Number Two, public, public speaking, sound, sound off, speaking, studies, well-off
«I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as you know, always leads to something - cuts into the nothing and then forces me to have to drop everything.»
«Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason»
«Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld
(Actor, Comedian)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
bloodstain, detergent, detergents, laundries, laundry, shirt, T, take out, the Wash, T shirt, wash
«It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper.»
Author: Jerry Seinfeld
(Actor, Comedian)
| About:
Funny,
Newspapers
| Keywords:
amazing, fits, newspaper
«The Swiss have an interesting army. Five hundred years without a war. Pretty impressive. Also pretty lucky for them. Ever see that little Swiss Army knife they have to fight with? Not much of a weapon there. Corkscrews, Bottle openers. 'Come on, buddy, let's go. You get past me, the guy in back of me, he's got a spoon. Back off. I've got the toe clippers right here.»
«There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.»
«Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.»
«A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.»
«People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to»
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