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Letter "J" » Jay Leno Quotes
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«The University of Nebraska says that elderly people that drink beer or wine at least four times a week have the highest bone density. They need it - they're the ones falling down the most.»
«Today President Bush ordered an investigation into whether it is appropriate to have civilians with no experience running a Navy sub. Hey, how about an investigation into whether it's appropriate to have a civilian with no experience running the country?»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| About:
Funny
| Keywords:
appropriate, civilian, civilians, hey, investigation, investigations, In the Navy, navy, ordered, President Bush, sub
«The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
designate, designated, designated driver, designates, driver, senators, The Senators
«The Secret Service has announced it is doubling its protection for John Kerry You can understand why - with two positions on every issue, he has twice as many people mad at him.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
announced, as many, doubling, issue, john, John Kerry, Kerry, positions, protection, secret service, The Secret Service
«Bush said today he is being stalked. He said wherever he goes, people are following him. Finally, someone told him, 'Psst. That's the Secret Service.'»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| About:
Presidency
| Keywords:
bush, following, secret service, stalked, stalking, stalks, The Secret Service
«If God had wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates»
«Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
acquaintances, airport, go through, phone, phone book, phone call, the Airport
«I think high self-esteem is overrated. A little low self-esteem is actually quite good?Maybe you're not the best, so you should work a little harder.»
«The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.»
Author: Jay Leno
(Comedian, Host)
| Keywords:
court, Nativity, ruled, scene, Supreme Court, Three Wise Men, Virgin, Washington, Wise Men
«Major league baseball has asked its players to stop tossing baseballs into the stands during games, because they say fans fight over them and they get hurt. In fact, the Florida Marlins said that's why they never hit any home runs. It's a safety issue.»
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