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Letter "J" » Jack Handy Quotes
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«If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.»
«It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But what they don't tell you is that every time you hear a mouse trap snap, an angel gets set on fire.»
«When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
Good Thing, go in, interview, interviewed, interviewing, interviews, in for, job interview, press, The Interview
«Instead of studying for finals, what about just going to the Bahamas and catching some rays? Maybe you'll flunk, but you might have flunked anyway; that's my point.»
«If I had a mine shaft, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's got to be a better way.»
«Instead of building newer and larger weapons of mass destruction, I think mankind should try to get more use out of the ones we have»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
building, destruction, larger, Mass, newer, one of the largest, weapons
«When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmmm, boy.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
boy, PIE, pies, regular, regulars, trick, tricked, tricked out
«It's fascinating to think that all around us there's an invisible world we can't even see. I'm speaking, of course, of the World of the Invisible Scary Skeletons.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
all-around, fascinate, fascinates, fascinating, invisible, of course, scarier, scariest, scary, skeletons, speaking
«Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants»
«If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.»
Author: Jack Handy
(Writer)
| Keywords:
bet, catch, catch fire, catch on, on fire, panic, panicked, panics, seeing, The Mirror, throws
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