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Letter "E" » Emo Philips Quotes
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«When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.»
«How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.»
«I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.»
Author: Emo Philips
| About:
Children,
Friends,
Friendship
| Keywords:
imaginary, imaginary being, imaginary friend, kid, The Kid
«A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.»
«Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.»
«I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don't know I'm firing blanks.»
Author: Emo Philips
| Keywords:
blanked, blanks, firing, jumped-up, jumping, jumping up and down, playground, playgrounds, The Children, up and down
«I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.»
«I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me.»
«At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.»
«Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something...»
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