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Letter "E" » Eddie Izzard Quotes
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«If you've never seen an elephant ski, you've never been on acid.»
«But with dogs, we do have ?bad dog.? Bad dog exists. ?Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!? The dog is saying, ?Who are you to judge me? You human beings who?ve had genocide, war against people of different creeds, colors, religions, and I stole a biscuit?! Is that a crime? People of the world!??Well, if you put it that way, I think you?ve got a point. Have another biscuit, sorry.?»
Author: Eddie Izzard
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
Bad Religion, biscuit, biscuits, colors, creeds, genocide, People of, stole, The Dog, war crime, who are you
«I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from.»
«Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun).»
«I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.»
«I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.»
«What have you been reading, the gospel according to St. Bastard?»
«So in Europe, we had empires. Everyone had them - France and Spain and Britain and Turkey! The Ottoman Empire, full of furniture for some reason. And the Austro-Hungarian Empire, famous for fuck all! Yes, all they did was slowly collapse like a flan in a cupboard.»
«Never put a sock in a toaster.»
«Performance enhancing drugs are banned in the Olympics. Ok, we canswing with that. But performance debilitating drugs should not bebanned. Smoke a joint and win the hundred meters, fair play for you.That's pretty damn good. Unless someone's dangling a Mars bar off inthe distance.»
Author: Eddie Izzard
(Actor, Comedian)
| Keywords:
ban, banned, bar, damn, dangle, dangling, debilitates, debilitating, enhancing, Fair Play, joint, Mars, meters, O.K., ok, Olympics, performance, performing, smoke, swing, the Olympics, with that
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