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Letter "D" » David Sedaris Quotes
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«I haven't got the slightest idea how to change people, but still I keep a long list of prospective candidates just in case I should ever figure it out.»
Author: David Sedaris
«Seven beers followed by two Scotches and a thimble of marijuana and it's funny how sleep comes all on it's own.»
Author: David Sedaris
«Shit is the tofu of cursing.»
Author: David Sedaris
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Funny
«I love things made out of animals. It's just so funny to think of someone saying, 'I need a letter opener. I guess I'll have to kill a deer.»
Author: David Sedaris
«My hands tend to be full enough dealing with people who hate me for who I am. Concentrate too hard on the millions of people who hate you for what you are and you're likely to turn into one of those unkempt, sloppy dressers who sag beneath the weight of the two hundred political buttons they wear pinned to their coats and knapsacks.»
Author: David Sedaris
«? [I] recall thinking that the computer would never advance much further than this. Call me na?ve, but I seemed to have underestimated the universal desire to sit in a hard plastic chair and stare at a screen until your eyes cross.»
Author: David Sedaris
| About:
Computers
«Maybe I'll learn a trade. I've considered taxidermy. I always thought it was a shame you couldn't do that on people.»
Author: David Sedaris
«Why refer to Lady Crack Pipe or Good Sir Dishrag when these things could never live up to all that their sex implied.»
Author: David Sedaris
«I'm just a big liar.»
Author: David Sedaris
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