Great Quotes - Funny Quotes - Love Quotes
Be inspired by our amazing collection of free proverbs, sayings and great quotes by famous artists, authors, writers, poets, philosophers and business people. The quotation database contains over 150,000 funny quotes, love quotes and motivational quotes that will do for any occasion. The database is constantly updated with new quotes, proverbs and sayings. Make sure to check our quotes regularly.
Try our free search of constantly updated quotations and proverbs database.
Browse Authors:
A
B
C
D
E
F
G
H
I
J
K
L
M
N
O
P
Q
R
S
T
U
V
W
X
Y
Z
(Click a letter to view the authors)
Letter "A" » Andy Borowitz Quotes
(Click a letter to view the authors)
«After Sept. 11, I didn't write a piece for a couple of days because I thought people wouldn't want me to be funny. This time, it was so obvious what could be written, and I'll continue to write it. I can usually gauge reader response from the number of people who cancel on my e-mail list, and there's been no major withdrawal.»
Author: Andy Borowitz
«Army Offers to Pay Recruits in Gasoline.»
Author: Andy Borowitz
«At the Pentagon, Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld said that the decision to pay recruits in gasoline, while unorthodox, was a 'slam-dunk solution' to the Army's nagging shortfalls in enlistment.»
Author: Andy Borowitz
«I wanted to get away from big, expensive network projects, ... so I moved to New York and I did nothing. And then I discovered the Internet. I didn't think of it as a moneymaker -- I wrote stuff I thought my friends would find funny.»
Author: Andy Borowitz
«I feel like Cal Ripken or something, ... This insanity is all self-imposed.»
Author: Andy Borowitz
«I think the reason that satire is on the rise is because the real news is so bad right now, ... I'd love it if we lived in a world where there was nothing to satire, but given this world, people need satire and comedy right now. ... [Humor] enables us to look at the horrible things going on and survive [them].»
Author: Andy Borowitz
«I am resigning effective immediately. Bo Derek will become the new vice president.»
Author: Andy Borowitz
«Britney is one of our great comedians. She has been hilarious,»
Author: Andy Borowitz
«Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving Prison,»
Author: Andy Borowitz
«Get over yourselves with the coffee. You know, we all have it. It's like being famous for mustard or gum.»
Author: Andy Borowitz
Sign up for the most comprehensive database of 800,000 pre-written papers and use them for your research. Order authentic term papers, essays, research papers, dissertations on any topic written by qualified writers.
