One of the most intense adrenaline rushes starts to build once you mount your feet to a seemingly awkward board and prepare to jump into the water. Experiencing this for the first time is both daunting and exhilarating at the same time. You think of nothing but how to get out of the water while holding onto a stiff handle and long rope. Lying back awaiting the initial tug from the boat leaves you shaking …
showed first 75 words of 809 total

showed last 75 words of 809 total
…the material you have there. Make it a bit cleaner and more sparse, and it will be more effective when you finally tell your reader that you're talking about wakeboarding. (2) You need a bit more detail in your explanations. A detailed description of a wakeboard would help, and some more on how to hold yourself, etc. You've got a start, but I think a little more detail would improve this. Still, not a bad start.